Wednesday, September 24, 2008

BEST INTERVIEW

BEST INTERVIEW - Office Humor :)



JUST GO THROUGH IT , YOU WILL ENJOY


One of the best interviews!!!




Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.


Candidate: I am SAMEER GUPTA. I did my Tele Communication engineering from
BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.


Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard
Of this college before!


Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
Into it . What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! In 12th.I
Was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to
Call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money".(The baap actually said
- "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
College. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
Related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.


Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
Engineering.


Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you
Know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis
Tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and
3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.


Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.


Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try
To keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches
Really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.


Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.


Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!


Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?


Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
Would complete it. In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job
For me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.


Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?


Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education
Itself was so much of pain!!


Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have
You worked?


Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
Platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can
See I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the
Places in Mumbai)


Interviewer: And which languages have you used?


Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German, French, Russian and many other languages.


Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?


Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
Version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new
Language VD!


Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?


Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
Language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.


Interviewer: What is your general project experience?


Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times
They are in pipeline!


Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?


Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech Ltd. Since
Joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that
Bench was another software like Windows.


Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?


Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call
And use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!


Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?


Candidate: Not much.


1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have Deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I Would like to wear t-shirt and jeans. 5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
Avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
preferably 2-4 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in
2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS .. :-))




No intention to offend anybody..

Monday, September 22, 2008

WHO OWNS KASHMIR?

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile. A representative from India began:

'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named. When Rishi Kashyap struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought,'What a good opportunity to have a bath.' He took off his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and in support of Pakistan, he shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'

The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech saying that Kashmir has been an integral part of India all along.'

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Simple Equation.....

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work.

*******************************************************************

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Men = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Men-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Men who d'nt earn money = Donkey

*******************************************************************

Equation 3

Women= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Women = Donkey + spend
Women - spend = Donkey

In other words,
Women who don't spend = Donkey

*******************************************************************

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend

So Men earn money not to let women become donkey!
And women spend not to let men become donkey!

So, We have:
Men + Women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!